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PODCAST

The Beaverton Weekly Report

Every week Beaverton editor-in-chief Luke Gordon Field assembles an all-star Panel of comedians to talk, mock and riff their way through the news of the week. Then he puts their knowledge of the news to the test in a very important quiz where the stakes couldn"t be lower. The Beaverton Weekly Report is a hilarious look at what"s going on in the world around us. It"s just like watching CNN, only funnier and with fewer erectile dysfunction ads.

comedy news commentary

All Episodes

01:01:56

The Return Of The Living Doug!!!

The Beaverton Weekly Report ·

2025/10/29

Trick or Treat or Definitely Trick!!! Just in time for Spooky Season Doug Ford is back to wreak havoc! Guest Host Ian and the Panel (Clare Blackwood and Andrew Ivimey) discuss the Ronald Reagan ad that pissed off Trump, how Ontario rent control got saved (for now), and catch up on Newfoundland politics. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz hits the mean streets with Toronto grocery store cashiers. If you'd like an Extended Cut version that also talks about sports betting and the recent NBA

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01:04:04

Bail Reform Christmas Comes Early This Year!

The Beaverton Weekly Report ·

2025/10/22

We discuss the most exciting news on every Canadian's mind this week - Bail Reform! Guest Host Ian and the Panel (Clare Blackwood, and Craig Fay) discuss the why we Canadians barely know anything about bail, AI datacentres coming for all our water, and what's good in Saskatchewan. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz uncovers the best household item to fix your Honda Civic with. If you'd like an Extended Cut version that also talks about the Justin Trudeau smooching Katy Perry, check us out

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56:32

Trying Not To Be Cynical About The Ceasefire Deal

The Beaverton Weekly Report ·

2025/10/15

We tried. We really tried. Luke and the Panel (Clare Blackwood, Nile Seguin and Craig Fay) discuss the reasons to be optimistic about the Ceasefire Deal, and the many many reasons for pessimism, Trump's proclamation of a New Dawn in the Middle East, and the Conservatives attacking birthright citizenship. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz discovers with a B&E&BM is. If you'd like an Extended Cut version that also talks about the NDP leadership race check us out on Patreon. And if you'd like

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01:00:19

A Transformative Podcast Episode

The Beaverton Weekly Report ·

2025/10/08

Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Megan MacKay and Nile Seguin) break down the suspiciously positive Trump-Carney meeting, Danielle Smith's latest pipeline gambit, and Alberta's teacher strike. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz discovers where the Ford Cabinet Members were rushing off to when they racked up all those Speed Camera violations. If you'd like an extended cut version of this episode that also talks about the disturbing rise of residential school denialism in Canada, check us

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01:00:40

Canada Post-Mortem

The Beaverton Weekly Report ·

2025/10/01

Hopefully the Jays deliver, because Canada Post won't. Luke and the Panel (Nile Seguin, Clare Blackwood, Megan MacKay) talk about Trump's 20 point plan to end the war in Gaza, Mark Carney's plan to end Canada Post, and the Toronto Blue Jays' plan to end the Yankees. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz discovers the sinister criminal conspiracy to steal apples from local orchards. If you'd like an extended cut of this episode that also talks about Doug Ford's crackdown on speed cameras check

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53:23

Free Speech: 1. Autocrats: 0. Disney Profits: 32 billion

The Beaverton Weekly Report ·

2025/09/24

"The best way to fight fascism is with money, everyone knows that." Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Megan MacKay and special guest Brandon Hackett) talk about Jimmy Kimmel's absurd suspension, wonder how anyone could be mad at Canada recognizing the State of Palestine and are shocked (SHOCKED WE SAY) by a Liberal Minister's admission that the Party does somethings just to help with their electoral chances in Quebec. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz discovers the sexiest way to commit

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57:39

Did anything happen while we were gone?

The Beaverton Weekly Report ·

2025/09/17

We're back baby! And so is Parliament but who cares about that. Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Clare Blackwood, Nile Seguin) talk about Poilievre v. Carney Round 2, the Right's attempt to punish anyone who acknowledges Charlie Kirk was not a saint, and what demands we would have made to MLSE in 2019 if we were Kawhi Leonard. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz discovers the worst scenario to get caught using AI. If you'd like an extended cut of this episode that also talks about the

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57:09

National Buffoon's European Vacation

The Beaverton Weekly Report ·

2025/07/30

Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Clare Blackwood and Nile Seguin) detail what Trump's EU deal means for Canada, break down the bombshell news that Canada is still sending arms to Israel and discuss why it doesn't feel like housing is getting any cheaper even as prices fall. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz discovers the worst place you can inject yourself with Botox. If you'd like an extended cut version that dives into the Sean Feucht "scandal" check us out on Patreon.

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54:39

Our government is at the cottage

The Beaverton Weekly Report ·

2025/07/23

"Break out the Caesars Carney!" Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre and Craig Fay) talk the government's attempt to consult with Indigenous Peoples about Bill C-5 after the fact, wonder what a trade deal with Trump would even look like at this point, and break down just how pathetically weak Canada's latest statement on Gaza is. Then The Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz reveals the most direct way to stop your son from eloping with his girlfriend. If you'd like an extended cut version that also

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01:07:49

Go West, Young Pierre

The Beaverton Weekly Report ·

2025/07/16

"In Alberta, your future lies." Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Clare Blackwood and Megan MacKay) speculate about what strategies Poilievre can use to win his by-election, break down Danielle Smith's over the top list of demands for constitutional amendments, and delight in the Maga world's meltdown over Trump's refusal to release the Epstein list. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz finds a new, ornothological way to win the U.S. Trade War. If you'd like an extended version of this

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01:09:05

Spending Cut Carn(ey)age

The Beaverton Weekly Report ·

2025/07/09

"Slash and burn, Carney style!" Luke and the Panel (Nile Séguin and Clare Blackwood) break down Mark Carney enacting spending cuts that even Harper wouldn't dream of, and then dive into the biggest sports stories going on in the world: The Blue Jays are soaring, Rogers is screwing over the Raptors, and the Mitch Marner saga makes us wonder how hockey players can be the toughest athletes in sports if they're afraid to answer media questions? Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz discovers the

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01:01:33

The Beaverton Weekly Report: Canada Day Spectacular!!!

The Beaverton Weekly Report ·

2025/07/01

Canada turns 158! Ian and the Panel (Nile Séguin, plus special guests Andrew Ivimey and Diana McCallum) discuss how that “elbows up” thing is working for Mark Carney, some of our favourite things about this country, and invent a new Canadian accent. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz reveals who or what the Baronet of Nova Scotia is. If you would like an extended cut version of this episode that dives into the latest breaking news of Confederation in 1867, check us out on Patreon.

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55:15

Peace through... bunker-busting bombs?

The Beaverton Weekly Report ·

2025/06/25

Israel and Iran may not "know what the fuck they're doing", but is it possible Trump does? Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Megan MacKay and Nile Seguin) talk about Trump starting WWIII and then getting a ceasefire 48 hours later, debate whether this is the one in a million ceasefire that Israel won't break, and break down the dangers of the recently passed Bill C-5. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz finds the sexiest way to inherit 1 million dollars. If you'd like an extended version of

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51:48

The G7 comes to Kananaks... Kanannann... Banff!

The Beaverton Weekly Report ·

2025/06/18

Party at Carney's house! Ian and the Panel (Clare Blackwood, Megan MacKay, and special guest Andrew Ivimey) discuss how the G7 definitely still exists, why Canada's No Kings protest would need an asterisk*, and Netenyahu and Trump's tag team against Tehran. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz uncovers who the most embarrassing Canadian of the week was (for once, it's not Drake!) If you would like an extended cut version of this episode that also talks about Doug Ford's Ontario, check us out

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01:00:41

Are you a human rights abuser? Your G7 invite is on...

The Beaverton Weekly Report ·

2025/06/11

Check your mailbox right now! Luke and the Panel (Nile Seguin, Ian MacIntyre and Clare Blackwood) talk about the ICE protests and Donald Trump turning to page 1 in the dictator playbook, Mark Carney's popularity with Conservatives and international human rights abusers, and the weak sanctions imposed on two Israeli far-right Ministers. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz discovers the grossest way you can put money in Sydney Sweeney's pocket. If you would like an extended cut version of this

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57:49

Carney And The Premiers Go Nation Building

The Beaverton Weekly Report ·

2025/06/04

The vibes are high at the First Ministers Meeting. Maybe a little... too high? Luke and the Panel (Nile Seguin, Megan MacKay and Clare Blackwood) recap the "best first ministers meeting in 10 years" according to a premier who has been in power for 7, examine Danielle Smith's unrelenting popularity in Alberta, and break down the disturbing implications of the Strong Borders Bill. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz discovers the classic tv production mistake that tripped Poilievre up this

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51:12

A King talks about lowering the cost of living

The Beaverton Weekly Report ·

2025/05/28

"There shall be HST discounts for your Plebs who didn't inherit castles at birth!" Luke and the Panel (Clare Blackwood, Ian MacIntyre and Nile Seguin) dive into the Throne Speech, including the absurdity of hearing a hereditary monarch talk about saving famillies 840 dollars a year, the confusion over Justin Trudeau's footwear and the delight of hearing the words Pierre Poilievre and "visitor's pass". Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz simply goes off the rails. If you'd like an extended

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53:29

Stopping Genocide With A Strongly Worded Letter

The Beaverton Weekly Report ·

2025/05/21

"This is the letter that finally stops the slaughter, we're pretty sure." Luke and the Panel (Nile Seguin and Clare Blackwood) talk about the Conservatives' attempts to shore up support for Poilievre as leader, speculate on what the "concrete steps" Canada will take if Israel does not listen to its letter, and break down the media's attempt to gaslight Canadians over what is happening in Gaza. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz discovers the most dystopian solution possible to America's

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57:15

Carney's Cabinet Fever sweeps the nation!

The Beaverton Weekly Report ·

2025/05/14

Prime Minister Carney announces his brand new cabinet of Trudeau-era ministers! Guest host Ian MacIntyre and the Panel (Clare Blackwood, Nile Séguin, and special guest Kat Angus) discuss who’s in, who’s out, and who’s making roast-style jokes! Plus the Woke Pope, and Trump’s Sky Palace. After all that, the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz gets to the bottom of Hamilton’s French equivalent. If you'd like an extended cut version of this episode check us out on Patreon

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49:33

A Carney Visits The Freak Show

The Beaverton Weekly Report ·

2025/05/07

Mr. Carney goes to Washington, and immediately regrets winning the election. Guest host Ian MacIntyre and the Panel (Clare Blackwood, Megan MacKay, and special guest Aaron Hagey-MacKay) discuss Carney’s first face-to-orange-face with Donald Trump, pitches for non-tariffed Canadian Hallmark movies, Western Separatism as understood by 4 Toronto-based comedians, and why Danielle Smith is like that. After all that, the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz debates the best reason to get stranded on Mt.

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65 results

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