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PODCAST

You Are Not Crazy

You’re exhausted from over-functioning. Always managing the chaos. Always trying to keep the peace.You feel alone. Misunderstood. Like no one sees the full story—except you.You question yourself constantly. You wonder if you’re the problem.You’re not.This podcast helps you understand emotional abuse, coercive control, narcissistic relationships, and trauma bonds—so you can stop doubting yourself and start trusting what you already know.I’m Jessica Knight, emotional abuse coach and survivor. I help

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

15:06

Why They Never See It: The Psychology Behind Why...

You Are Not Crazy ·

2026/04/15

If you've ever wondered why the person who hurt you seems completely unbothered — even convinced they did nothing wrong — this episode is for you. I break down why people with personality disorders genuinely don't experience themselves as disordered, how shame avoidance rewrites their reality, and why no amount of explaining, evidence, or emotional appeals will get them to "see it." Understanding this isn't about giving up — it's about stopping the cycle of trying to reach someone who doesn't...

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7:19

Pattern Recognition vs. The Blame Game

You Are Not Crazy ·

2026/04/08

There's a difference between someone naming a pattern to seek resolution and someone digging up the past to dodge accountability. If you've ever tried to address what's not working in your relationship and ended up defending yourself instead, this episode is for you. We talk about what healthy accountability actually looks like — and how to recognize when someone is rewriting history to keep you stuck. Support the show *Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do n...

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27:14

When Mental Illness Becomes an Excuse for Abuse

You Are Not Crazy ·

2026/04/01

This month’s Patreon episode dives into a theme that kept surfacing in your questions: When does mental illness explain behavior… and when does it become an excuse? Before answering your submissions, I break down what we actually mean when we talk about pathological abuse — repeated patterns rooted in personality structure, not just “a bad fight” or poor communication. We explore coercive control, gaslighting, intermittent reinforcement, blame shifting, and the power imbalance that defines th...

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14:57

How I Help Clients Untangle High-Conflict Divorce

You Are Not Crazy ·

2026/03/25

In this episode, I share what it’s really like to support clients through the chaos of high-conflict divorce — when legal processes, endless emails, and contradictory communication make it nearly impossible to think clearly. I talk about how I help clients slow things down, organize what’s actually happening, and find stability in the middle of emotional and legal overwhelm. I also share how confusion becomes one of the main weapons of post-separation abuse, and what I do to help survivors re...

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14:25

“No One Sees It” — The Pattern of Covert Abuse (And...

You Are Not Crazy ·

2026/03/18

“No one sees it. They just think he’s nice.” If you are in a high-conflict divorce or co-parenting dynamic, you probably feel this in your bones. One of the hardest parts of covert abuse is that the “nice” isn’t safe. The "helpfulness" isn’t genuine. It’s strategic. When you are the only one seeing it and reacting to it, you start questioning yourself. In this episode, I talk about what it’s like to live inside a pattern that other people can’t see. Courts, lawyers, evaluators — they ar...

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42:37

Wanting Them to Change Isn’t Abuse - Interview with...

You Are Not Crazy ·

2026/03/11

One of the most painful and confusing questions survivors ask is this: “If I want them to change… how is that different from them wanting me to change?” On the surface, it sounds the same. Two people. Both asking for change. But it is not the same. In this episode, I’m joined again by Paul Colaianni of The Overwhelmed Brain and Love and Abuse to unpack the critical difference between wanting harm to stop… and wanting control. We talk about: The difference between self-protection and self...

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44:47

“Why Do I Feel Crazy?” — Life Inside a Trauma Bond

You Are Not Crazy ·

2026/03/04

This episode puts words to what a trauma bond feels like before there is language for it. The quiet erosion. The logic loops. The way your needs slowly become “too much.” The way calm, rational explanations are used to invalidate your emotional reality. The way you start rehearsing conversations, monitoring your tone, silencing yourself, and shrinking—just to keep the peace. This is not a story about explosive fights or obvious cruelty. It is about subtle control, emotional superiority, and t...

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20:39

When Leaving Feels Impossible: The Hidden Reality of...

You Are Not Crazy ·

2026/02/25

Leaving a relationship with someone who has untreated borderline personality traits can feel less like a breakup and more like trying to escape a locked room while being told you’re the one causing the fire. In this episode, I speak directly to the people who are rarely centered in these conversations: the partners who have been living inside someone else’s emotional emergency. The ones who learned to scan tone, timing, silence, and mood shifts just to survive. The ones whose nervous systems ...

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11:30

Why They Feel Fine After the Blowup—and You Don’t

You Are Not Crazy ·

2026/02/18

In this episode, I talk about what happens after the fight, the discard, or the emotional explosion, and why the aftermath hits you so much harder than it seems to hit them. I break down a pattern I see constantly in emotionally abusive, high-conflict, and narcissistic dynamics: one person unloads their rage, shame, blame, or dysregulation, and then walks away feeling lighter—while the other person is left carrying it. I explain why this isn’t about resolution, communication, or vulnerability...

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20:37

Emotional Whiplash, Hypervigilance, and the BPD Cycle...

You Are Not Crazy ·

2026/02/11

How do you survive—and eventually recognize—the BPD cycle of abuse, especially when you are already exhausted, confused, and questioning yourself. In this episode, I break down the cycle as it actually unfolds in real life: The intense honeymoon phase, the sudden emotional whiplash, the accusations and character attacks, the breakups and reconciliations, and the long stretch of chaos that keeps you hooked through intermittent relief. I talk about why this dynamic is so hard to recognize while...

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20:29

When They Say You Can’t Communicate

You Are Not Crazy ·

2026/02/04

If you’ve ever been told you “can’t communicate” — especially by someone who constantly twists your words or refuses to take accountability — this episode will help you see what’s really happening. I break breaks down how abusers weaponize communication to destabilize you, create confusion, and control the narrative. You’ll learn why phrases like “you’re too blunt” or “you don’t make sense” are often not about clarity at all — they’re about power. You can view my courses here: https://j...

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16:00

Letting Go of the Why

You Are Not Crazy ·

2026/01/28

When you’ve been in an emotionally abusive relationship, the need for clarity can feel all-consuming. You want to know why they did what they did — why they lied, withdrew, or turned cold. You believe that if you can just understand their behavior, you’ll finally be able to find peace. Clarity from someone who manipulates and distorts reality rarely exists — at least not in the way survivors hope it will. The search for answers becomes part of the trap, keeping you focused on their motives in...

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9:52

The Blame Game: A Key Tactic in the Cycle of...

You Are Not Crazy ·

2026/01/21

This episode unpacks what happens when speaking your truth gets twisted into a blame game. You finally name the pattern—gaslighting, neglect, constant eggshells—only to have the conversation hijacked. Suddenly you’re defending a mistake from years ago, a text tone, or an unrelated incident. Instead of accountability, you’re trapped in deflection, false equivalency, and emotional erasure. Jessica breaks down how this tactic shows up in everyday conversations, why it’s such a powerful tool of e...

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21:55

When Co-Parenting Messages Make You Doubt Yourself

You Are Not Crazy ·

2026/01/17

In this episode, I talk about a communication pattern that so many people experience in emotionally abusive and high-conflict relationships—but rarely have language for. It’s the moment when a message sounds reasonable on paper, calm in tone, even “child-focused”… and yet your body reacts immediately. I walk through what’s happening when someone says all the right things while doing the opposite—hiding control behind concern, and contradiction behind “cooperation.” I use a real client example...

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18:55

How Do I Stop Second Guessing Myself After Leaving an...

You Are Not Crazy ·

2026/01/14

After leaving an abusive relationship, it’s common to find yourself stuck in an exhausting loop of self-doubt. You replay conversations. You question your memory. You wonder if you overreacted—or if maybe it wasn’t that bad. In this episode, I break down why second-guessing yourself after abuse isn’t a flaw—it’s a survival response. I talk about how abusers train you to distrust your own perceptions and why that confusion lingers even after you leave. I also share practical ways to start rebu...

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26:16

The Holiday Breakdown: Why High-Conflict Co-Parenting...

You Are Not Crazy ·

2026/01/09

This episode is about why everything feels harder, louder, and more urgent during the holidays when you’re navigating high-conflict divorce or co-parenting with a controlling or volatile person. Why situations that felt barely manageable in October suddenly feel explosive in December. Why your body feels like it’s bracing for impact every single day. And why so many parents reach a breaking point and say, “This can’t wait until January.” I break down what’s actually happening beneath the surf...

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50:30

When “How to Treat a Man” Teaches Women to Disappear

You Are Not Crazy ·

2026/01/07

I unpack a viral TikTok that has been shared hundreds of thousands of times—and why its message is far more dangerous than it first appears. On the surface, the video presents itself as “relationship advice” about how women can keep men happy. In reality, it reinforces coercive control, sexual entitlement, and the idea that women are responsible for regulating men’s emotions, egos, and loyalty—often at the expense of their own boundaries, bodies, and well-being. I break down: How this type of...

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15:40

Instead of Resolutions, I Do This

You Are Not Crazy ·

2025/12/31

In this episode, I’m sharing a simple end-of-year practice I’ve returned to every year since 2017—one that has nothing to do with resolutions, goals, or fixing yourself. It started in a yoga class on New Year’s Eve, during a time when my life was quietly falling apart. I was deeply depressed, circling the truth that I needed to leave my marriage, and trying to survive day to day. The exercise was simple: two cards. One for the year you’re leaving. One for the year you’re stepping into. Not ac...

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19:53

Dreading the New Year Doesn’t Mean You’re Failing

You Are Not Crazy ·

2025/12/24

This episode is not about fresh starts, resolutions, or manifesting a better year. It’s for the people who feel heavy, uneasy, or scared as the year changes. I’m sharing honestly about what the end of the year felt like for me when my life didn’t feel safe—when I was still inside emotionally abusive relationships, even though I didn’t have that language yet. I talk about the dread that replaced reflection, the exhaustion of constant self-editing, the panic attacks, the private crying, the way...

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18:46

The Holidays, the Cycle of Abuse, and the Moment You...

You Are Not Crazy ·

2025/12/17

The holiday season has a way of revealing what we’ve been trying to ignore. When the pressure to perform, host, or appear “happy” collides with the chaos of an emotionally abusive relationship, everything that’s been buried rises to the surface. In this episode, I unpack why abuse patterns intensify around the holidays — and how to recognize the moment you finally see the cycle for what it is. I also share ways to start naming the truth, release self-blame, and reclaim your nervous system — e...

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248 results

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