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PODCAST

The Shadow Sessions

The Shadow Sessions is hosted by Hiba Balfaqih, an unconventional psychologist and trauma alchemist. We explore the stories that most people bury—particularly those tied to shame, trauma, and identity. Our goal is to shed light on the hidden corners of human experience, allowing listeners to hear stories that challenge societal norms and spark deep,introspective conversations.

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All Episodes

67:01

"I am A Psychopath"

The Shadow Sessions ·

2026/10/08

What if manipulation doesn’t feel like manipulation?What if it feels like you’ve finally met someone who understands you? In this episode of The Shadow Sessions, Hiba Balfaqih sits down with Lewis Raymond Taylor, who has spoken publicly about being diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder, as well as his experiences with severe childhood trauma, addiction, and the life he built afterward. Lewis takes Hiba inside the process: how someone might be chosen, how trust is established, how

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10:14

Why Your Mind Shuts Down To Survive

The Shadow Sessions ·

2026/10/01

What happens psychologically when the people meant to protect you become the ones taking away your choices?In this episode of The Notebook, Hiba Balfaqih reflects on her conversation with Rubie, who was just 15 years old when her family took her to another country and forced her into a marriage she had never chosen. Hiba discusses the moments from Rubie’s story that stood out to her and offers her insights into the psychological dynamics behind coercion, control, family loyalty, and

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78:07

Every 7 Seconds this Happens To A Girl

The Shadow Sessions ·

2026/09/24

What happens when the people who love you believe that harming you is an act of protection?In this episode ofThe Shadow Sessions, Hiba Balfaqih speaks with Hoda, who was seven years old when her family celebrated what she believed was a special occasion. Instead, she was subjected to female genital mutilation (FGM)—a practice that would leave lifelong physical and psychological consequences. This conversation goes beyond the procedure itself. It explores the complex reality of generational

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70:46

"I Saw Who Killed My Mom at 3 Years Old"

The Shadow Sessions ·

2026/09/20

What happens when the first truth you ever tell is the one no one believes?In this episode ofThe Shadow Sessions, Hiba Balfaqih speaks with Jade, who was just three years old when her mother was murdered. In the immediate aftermath, Jade told investigators what she had witnessed. But because of her age, her account was dismissed, leaving her to grow up carrying a truth that others refused to accept. This conversation explores far more than the crime itself. It examines childhood memory, trauma,

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56:40

My Husband Raped Me

The Shadow Sessions ·

2026/09/12

Leaving an abusive relationship is rarely as simple as walking away. Sometimes the forces keeping someone trapped aren't fear alone—they're love, loyalty, children, and the hope of protecting the family they never had.In this episode ofThe Shadow Sessions, Hiba Balfaqih speaks with Kathleen, whose former husband was convicted in 2024 of rape and coercive control. After years of abuse, Kathleen waived her legal right to anonymity so that he could be publicly identified, choosing to tell her story

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11:32

He Could Kill Her So Why Did She Stay?

The Shadow Sessions ·

2026/09/03

Some conversations don't end when the cameras stop rolling—they deserve to be unpacked.In this episode ofThe Notebook, Hiba Balfaqih reflects on her conversation with Annesa and explores the psychological patterns that emerged throughout the interview. Drawing from her expertise in human behavior and trauma, Hiba examines the psychology of love bombing, coercive control, and why intense relationships can so easily be mistaken for genuine love. She explores how cultural narratives, emotional

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12:45

Phycologist Answers Your Questions

The Shadow Sessions ·

2026/08/27

In this special Q&A episode ofThe Shadow Sessions, Hiba Balfaqih answers listener questions covering a wide range of topics.Rather than offering quick answers, Hiba approaches each question with curiosity, compassion, and psychological insight, helping listeners see their situations and the patterns that shape their lives in a new light. Whether you're looking for perspective, reassurance, or simply curious to hear the conversation, this episode offers an open and honest space where no question

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17:52

The Abuser Was Never A Stranger

The Shadow Sessions ·

2026/08/20

We've spent generations teaching children to fear strangers. But the evidence tells a different story.In this special reflection episode ofThe Shadow Sessions, Hiba Balfaqih revisits the stories of Aziza, Seth, Jazmine, and Sonny—four survivors whose experiences expose one of the most dangerous misconceptions about child sexual abuse: that the greatest threat comes from strangers. Instead, these conversations reveal a far more uncomfortable reality. Abuse is most often committed by someone a

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28:37

The Most Shocking Moments - Part 2

The Shadow Sessions ·

2026/08/13

Some moments stay with you long after the conversation ends.In this special episode ofThe Shadow Sessions, Hiba Balfaqih revisits some of the most powerful and unforgettable moments from the series so far—stories of survival, betrayal, identity, trauma, accountability, and transformation. Part two brings together voices that challenged the way we understand abuse, violence, incarceration, extremism, addiction, and the systems that shape human behavior. These are not moments selected for shock

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21:15

The Most Shocking Moments

The Shadow Sessions ·

2026/08/05

Some moments stay with you long after the conversation ends.In this special episode ofThe Shadow Sessions, Hiba Balfaqih revisits some of the most powerful and unforgettable moments from the series so far—stories of survival, betrayal, identity, trauma, accountability, and transformation. Part One brings together voices that challenged the way we understand abuse, violence, incarceration, extremism, addiction, and the systems that shape human behavior. These are not moments selected for shock

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14:48

When Your Mother Is The Danger

The Shadow Sessions ·

2026/07/30

Some conversations don't end when the cameras stop rolling—they deserve to be unpacked.In this episode of The Notebook, Hiba Balfaqih reflects on her conversation with Jazmine and explores the psychological patterns that emerged throughout the interview. Drawing from her expertise in human behavior and trauma, Hiba examines the lasting effects of attachment trauma, the psychological impact of being harmed by the very person meant to provide safety, and how early betrayal shapes a child's

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64:41

The Story Her Kidnapper Never Wanted Told

The Shadow Sessions ·

2026/07/23

How do you respond when your life changes in a matter of seconds?In this episode of The Shadow Sessions, Hiba Balfaqih speaks with Allison Smith, whose ordinary trip to a convenience store became a fight for survival when an armed woman hijacked her car. In those terrifying moments, Allison experienced what so many trauma survivors describe: first freezing, then fawning, and ultimately finding the strength to fight back. But surviving the attack was only the beginning. This conversation goes

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18:43

What Epestein Did To Her Mind

The Shadow Sessions ·

2026/07/15

Some conversations don't end when the cameras stop rolling—they deserve to be unpacked. In this episode of The Notebook, Hiba Balfaqih reflects on her conversation with Jena-Lisa Jones, a survivor of Jeffrey Epstein, and explores the psychological patterns that emerged throughout the interview. Drawing from her expertise in human behavior and trauma, Hiba examines how grooming operates, why powerful individuals are often protected by the systems around them, and the psychological barriers that

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54:49

The Truth Behind Being A Sex Worker

The Shadow Sessions ·

2026/07/08

What happens when the beliefs you're raised with become the source of your deepest wounds? In this episode of The Shadow Sessions, Hiba Balfaqih speaks with Veronica Monet, who was born into a religious cult where isolation, control, and abuse were justified through faith. After escaping, addiction became a way to cope with the trauma she carried until she eventually found recovery. But recovery didn't lead to the life others expected. Sober and determined to survive on her own terms, Veronica

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57:59

My Family Was America's Most Dangerous Cult

The Shadow Sessions ·

2026/07/01

What happens when the person who teaches you right from wrong is later revealed to be responsible for unimaginable violence? In this episode of The Shadow Sessions, Hiba Balfaqih speaks with Anna, who was raised in a polygamous cult led by her father—a man who was later convicted of multiple murders. As a child, she didn't see a cult. She saw family. The disappearances, the fear, and the secrecy were simply part of everyday life. This conversation goes beyond true crime. It explores how children

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61:46

I Killed My Abuser

The Shadow Sessions ·

2026/06/24

What happens when the people meant to protect you never do? In this episode of The Shadow Sessions, Hiba Balfaqih speaks with David, who spent years growing up in an environment shaped by fear, control, and abuse. When systems that are supposed to intervene fail, trauma does not simply disappear—it adapts, accumulates, and leaves lasting psychological consequences. This conversation is not about violence. It is about what comes before it. The chronic stress of living in survival mode. The impact

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55:14

How A 16 Years Old Robbed A Bank

The Shadow Sessions ·

2026/06/17

We love stories about bank robbers. The masks. The getaway cars. The thrill of the chase. Popular culture often turns them into anti‑heroes—rebels who live outside the rules.But what happens when the robbery isn’t really about the money? In this episode of The Shadow Sessions, Hiba Balfaqih speaks with Alex, a former bank robber whose actions were driven by something deeper than financial gain. Beneath the crime was a pattern of addiction, compulsion, and a relentless search for something that

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62:05

America's Most Hated

The Shadow Sessions ·

2026/06/10

We often imagine hate as something obvious—loud, ignorant, easy to recognize. But radicalization rarely begins that way. It begins with belonging. With anger that feels like purpose. With identity built around opposition.In this episode of The Shadow Sessions, Hiba Balfaqih speaks with Arno, a former white nationalist skinhead who once lived at the center of extremist culture. He was the lead singer of a neo‑Nazi metal band and a member of Hammerskin Nation, one of the most violent white

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56:27

The Untold Reality of Undercover Operations

The Shadow Sessions ·

2026/06/04

We’re taught to see law enforcement as strength—authority, control, protection. But what does it cost to live in danger every day?In this episode of The Shadow Sessions, Hiba Balfaqih speaks with Jennifer, a former Virginia State Trooper who worked undercover in high‑risk environments before joining the ATF. After 9/11, she was assigned to assist in the Pentagon investigation—working in conditions that would later impact her health. This conversation goes beyond the uniform. It explores the

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52:35

The Wheelchair Doesn't Stop Me

The Shadow Sessions ·

2026/05/27

Violence doesn’t always end a life. Sometimes it changes it completely.In this episode of The Shadow Sessions, Hiba Balfaqih speaks with Wesley, whose life split into before and after a single moment of violence left him paralyzed with a spinal cord injury. But this conversation goes beyond the physical impact. It explores the psychological aftermath—depression, identity loss, and what it means to live in a body that no longer feels familiar. Raised in an environment where toughness meant

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