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PODCAST

Madame Magenta: Sonos Mystica

Madame Magenta, psychic, medium, and inventor of the ‘drink-along’ audiobook, reads her best-selling* books, with support from her adoring husband Bernard. In Magenta is the Warmest Colour, Magenta is forced into a bank heist by the ghost of her ex-husband, and in Madame Magenta & The Arcati Killer, she is pitted against a psychotic murderer hell-bent on destroying the mystic community. She also uses the ancient art of bibliomancy to help solve real problems sent in by you, her Tragic Fans

fiction comedy fiction

All Episodes

35:28

A Quantum Of Fortune - Live Stream Highlights (21 Sep)

Madame Magenta: Sonos Mystica ·

2025/09/23

Can you spot people having affairs in bars? Is Professor Brian Cox gaslighting us? Is Ken Russell's The Lair Of The White Worm the greatest film you've never seen? Highlights from Magenta & Bernard's weekly YouTube livestream, recorded 21st September 2025, with an audience of beloved tragic fans. This week, we are raising money for Choose Love. You can still donate to the campaign by visiting this link.⁠ M&B's next live stream will be on SUNDAY 28th SEPTEMBER - ⁠here's the link to watch, and to

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32:52

Live Stream Highlights! 7 Sep '25

Madame Magenta: Sonos Mystica ·

2025/09/09

Magenta and Bernard are back! It’s a new season of our chat podcast - with a twist! Because now it’s live! And for charity! From now on, M&B will be holding an almost-weekly live stream on YouTube, on Sundays, at 8pm UK time (3pm ET). These live streams are a chance for fans of the esoteric to get together, have silly goofy fun, stand up for what we believe in, ask esoteric questions, denounce the government, and listen to Bernard rocking out on the guitar. And best of all, each week, we'll

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2:08

We're doing a Livestream!

Madame Magenta: Sonos Mystica ·

2025/07/13

Magenta and Bernard are doing a YouTube Livestream THIS TUESDAY 15th July!Tune in to the Long Cat Media YouTube Channel from 6pm-10pm BST (that's UK time). We're going to be raising money for MAP (Medical Aid for Palestinians) all evening. Please do check out our JustGiving page, and if you want to submit a question for Magenta in advance of the stream, all you have to do is make a donation and ask your question in the comments box! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit

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59:05

WHAM 6 - Hungry Hungry Hippos and Egyptology

Madame Magenta: Sonos Mystica ·

2025/05/06

It's WHAM episode 6! (The last one)It's the SpOoOoOkY Halloween episode! This time, Mags and Bernie are making a kooky stop-motion adventure starring the Hungry Hungry Hippos - going all the way back to 2500 BC! ⁠Support Mags and Bernie on Ko-fi⁠ ⁠Find out about Long Cat Media's other podcasts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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75:00

WHAM 5 - Sidescroller with Jason Statham

Madame Magenta: Sonos Mystica ·

2025/05/06

It's WHAM episode 5! This one came to Magenta in a dream... a SIDESCROLLER video game movie. Starring JASON STATHAM. If the left side of the screen catches up with him... HE DIES. That's really all you need to know. ⁠Support Mags and Bernie on Ko-fi⁠ ⁠Find out about Long Cat Media's other podcasts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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77:36

WHAM 4 - Furby and The Book Of Revelation

Madame Magenta: Sonos Mystica ·

2025/05/06

It's WHAM episode 4! It's time to make a very respectful, very true-to-the-source-material, religious epic on a blockbuster scale! Magenta and Bernard are adapting The Book Of Revelation with an all-star cast. Of Furbies. ⁠Support Mags and Bernie on Ko-fi⁠ ⁠Find out about Long Cat Media's other podcasts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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70:47

WHAM 3 - Sylvanian Families and TikTok Tradwives

Madame Magenta: Sonos Mystica ·

2025/05/06

It's WHAM episode 3! It's a long one today! Because there's a lot to say about SYLVANIAN FAMILIES! Magenta and Bernard devise a dark, satirical horror movie starring the little felted friends, and co-starring the sexiest animal-hybrid vampire you've ever seen. ⁠Support Mags and Bernie on Ko-fi⁠ ⁠Find out about Long Cat Media's other podcasts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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37:40

WHAM 2 - Rubik's Cube and BDSM

Madame Magenta: Sonos Mystica ·

2025/05/06

It's the second episode of WHAM! Magenta and Bernard plan a new Hollywood smash, this time revolving around a GENERIC PUZZLE CUBE (definitely not affiliated with Rubik's Cube, this is personal opinion, satire and parody, please don't try to destroy us). CW: sexy sex talk, mild substance abuse ⁠Support Mags and Bernie on Ko-fi⁠ ⁠Find out about Long Cat Media's other podcasts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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36:25

WHAM 1 - Polly Pocket and String Theory

Madame Magenta: Sonos Mystica ·

2025/05/06

It's WHAM episode 1! Join Magenta and Bernard for the first instalment of their movie podcast experiment. First in the spotlight - Polly Pocket. How can the tiny clamshell-dwelling pixie be turned into a hit movie? And what could it possibly have to do with... string theory? Listen now to find out. ⁠Support Mags & Bernie on Ko-fi⁠ ⁠Find out about Long Cat Media's other podcasts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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28:35

Introducing: How I Died

Madame Magenta: Sonos Mystica ·

2025/04/15

Today we're featuring the award winning fiction podcast How I Died - big thanks to them for sponsoring Madame Magenta: Sonos Mystica. How I Died follows a coroner with a secret ability to speak to the dead. As bodies start piling up in the morgue, coroner and forensic pathologist Jon Spacer uses his ability to talk to the dead to help the local police solve the case-of-the-week, while also tracking down clues about a mysterious serial killer. It's like an X-Files-y police procedural that's both

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30:21

Introducing: Who The F*** Killed My Sister?

Madame Magenta: Sonos Mystica ·

2025/03/11

Today we would like to introduce a new murder mystery podcast: Who The Fuck Killed My Sister?Who The Fuck Killed My Sister? follows amateur detective and reluctant true crime celebrity, Quinn. The story picks up a year after her sister's unsolved murder when Quinn finally gets her first big lead, which puts a target on her and everyone close to her. The entire 8-episode first season is available to binge right now on all of the usual podcast platforms, and you can find more info on their website

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21:00

S4E8 - Teamwork Makes The Dream Work

Madame Magenta: Sonos Mystica ·

2025/01/28

Read the TranscriptsIn this instalment of M&B's Paranormal Investigations: Mags, Bernie and Lindsay join forces with some unlikely allies in this, the final showdown of the season! Special guest stars: Beth Eyre as Inzilbeth, and David K Barnes as Gilmikhad. Support Magenta & Bernard on Ko-fi! Buy Madame Magenta's Patented Decision Maker! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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18:31

S4E7 - Prolapsed Rectory

Madame Magenta: Sonos Mystica ·

2024/12/30

Read the TranscriptsIn this instalment of M&B's Paranormal Investigations: A worrying phone call from Seraphina brings the coven back to Misty Moor Rectory... where all hell is, quite literally, breaking loose. Support Magenta & Bernard on Ko-fi! Buy Madame Magenta's Patented Decision Maker! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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23:42

S4E6 - Catching Flies

Madame Magenta: Sonos Mystica ·

2024/10/22

Read the TranscriptsIn this instalment of M&B's Paranormal Investigations: The youngest member of the coven, Lindsay, has fallen from a magical oak tree and broken her arm. So it's a trip to A&E (or ER for our American listeners) for the family. But this hospital is feeling very... VERY... crowded... ... with ghosts. That's what we're getting at. Support Magenta & Bernard on Ko-fi! Buy Madame Magenta's Patented Decision Maker! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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23:44

S4E5 - The Maiden, The Mother, The Crone (and...

Madame Magenta: Sonos Mystica ·

2024/08/30

Read the TranscriptsIn this instalment of M&B's Paranormal Investigations: The third member of the coven - Magenta's mother Seraphina - is now living at Misty Moor Rectory (much to Bernard's chagrin). And so, the Triple Goddess is complete! It's time to plan what to do about Mr Baby's cosmic cat flap... Support Magenta & Bernard on Ko-fi! Buy Madame Magenta's Patented Decision Maker! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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11:38

Introducing: Sorry About The Murder

Madame Magenta: Sonos Mystica ·

2024/07/26

Greetings, Bernard here! And today Magenta and I would like to introduce you to another wonderful show from the Fable & Folly podcast network.It's called Sorry About The Murder - or rather "SAWRY ABOOT THE MRRDRR EH!" Alright, I won't do any more Canadian accents from now on. Anyway, Sorry About The Murder is a very Canadian murder mystery podcast, set in the perfect little town of Beavermont Ontario. That's really all you need to know - it's a wonderful cosy black comedy of a show, with lovely

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25:21

S4E4 - Lone Wolf

Madame Magenta: Sonos Mystica ·

2024/07/12

Read the TranscriptsIn this instalment of M&B's Paranormal Investigations: It's time for Magenta and Bernard to start building their coven! First recruit - their elusive and mysterious daughter Lindsay. But first, there's the small matter of the ghost wolf. Support Magenta & Bernard on Ko-fi! Buy Madame Magenta's Patented Decision Maker! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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37:03

Our New Show! WHAM: We Have A Movie

Madame Magenta: Sonos Mystica ·

2024/06/12

Magenta and Bernard have a new show! It's called WHAM: We Have A Movie, and you can find it wherever you're listening to this.Join Magenta and Bernard as they invent smash hit movies based on popular toys, books, history and more! A podcast for anyone who likes Hollywood tropes. And comedy. And quantum mechanics. And BDSM. Something for everyone, really. From Long Cat Media, the creators of Mockery Manor, The Ballad Of Anne & Mary, Madame Magenta and Magenta Presents. Head over to WHAM and listen

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17:33

S4E3 - Mr. Baby

Madame Magenta: Sonos Mystica ·

2024/05/31

Read the TranscriptsIn this instalment of M&B's Paranormal Investigations: Mags and Bernie deal with an uninvited house guest(s). Misty Moor Rectory is a strange and ancient place... Support Magenta & Bernard on Ko-fi! Buy Madame Magenta's Patented Decision Maker! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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5:23

M&B's Newest Podcast! WHAM

Madame Magenta: Sonos Mystica ·

2024/04/16

Just a quick little update from Magenta & Bernard, who are using a very tortured metaphor to tell you that they have a NEW PODCAST!It's called WHAM: We Have A Movie, and you can subscribe and hear the first episode right now. Join Magenta and Bernard as they invent smash hit movies based on popular toys, books, history and more! A podcast for anyone who likes Hollywood tropes. And comedy. And quantum mechanics. And BDSM. Something for everyone, really. From Long Cat Media, the creators of Mockery

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