PODCAST

Two Dicks in a Bar

Jesse Walcutt, Ed, Mike, & Nate

Two dicks in a bar talking with their friends and random people that join

comedy improv

All Episodes

01:27:18

The Nephew, The Nazi, and The Nicotine Pouches

Two Dicks in a Bar ·

2025/11/13

The conversation is as all over the place as a drunkard's stroll. This week, the Dicks dive into a family controversy: was a nephew's school suspension for an edgy doodle justified or total bullshit? The debate quickly spirals into a chaos-fueled session featuring experimental nicotine pouches found outside the bar, a plan for a disc golf trip to the Keys, and a heated rundown of everything from Kevin Smith's filmography to the latest Epstein brother revelations. Strap in for a lesson in low-stakes

01:53:29

Let's Get High and Build a Robot Comedian

Two Dicks in a Bar ·

2025/11/06

Our quest to outsource our personalities to machines continues. We unleash an AI-written stand-up routine so brilliant and stupid it might get us cancelled (or at least mildly frowned upon). Then, we debate the only logical next step: volunteering for a sketchy, IV-pumped DMT study to see God, or at least a convincing alien. Strap in for a episode that jumps from shitting on nepo-babies and war criminals to figuring out if you can, in fact, cheat death with a good game of Battleship. The bar is

01:14:45

Science vs. The Semen Demons

Two Dicks in a Bar ·

2025/10/30

The dicks are back in your ears and they're tackling the hard-hitting science behind No Nut November. Is there any truth to the "superpowers" promised by online influencers, or is it all just a sticky situation of misinformation? We dive deep into the myths of masturbation, testosterone, and sperm motility. Plus: Jesse's medical saga continues, a bizarre tequila review gets the Al treatment, and we somehow end up discussing the proper way to start a fire and the geopolitical implications of road

02:06:23

Six, Seven, Six, Seven

Two Dicks in a Bar ·

2025/10/16

From the assault on democratic norms to the assault on your childhood, no topic is safe. This episode meanders from the future of self-driving cars and the ethics of AI to the vital, pressing issue of ruining the "67" meme for any kids who might be listening. Plus, a heartfelt tribute to Diane Keaton, a debate on the best road trip games, and the age-old question: are Lucky Charms magically delicious because of the pus in the milk? Just another normal week at the bar.

01:38:20

38 More Months

Two Dicks in a Bar ·

2025/10/09

Navigating life's uncomfortable truths with a sense of humor is their specialty. In this episode, the guys debate the "tragedy plus time" formula for comedy, grapple with personal health scares and canceled colonoscopies, and try to find the logic in a world of unregulated capitalism and demonic politicians. It's a podcast about finding the laughs, even when the joke might be on us.

01:27:35

Jalapeños and Government Shutdowns

Two Dicks in a Bar ·

2025/10/02

The government is shut down and the boys are unsupervised! This week, the Dicks dive into a legendary (and painful) story involving a stripper and a jalapeeno, ponder the logistics of interstellar travel for Kryptonians, and debate the finer points of homelessness, recession fears, and the 13th floor. All this, plus a check-in from a very special guest, Gabby. It's a wild one.

01:31:15

$300 Thresholds and Flamboyant Pistols

Two Dicks in a Bar ·

2025/09/25

A tenant's text about a wobbly light fixture sparks a chaos-filled session covering the essential rules of being a landlord (always charge for laughs), the grim future of 55+ communities, and the proper use of AI (writing tool or intellectual surrender?). The guys debate whether Joe Rogan has more presidential composure than a man who can't pronounce "acetaminophen," and if arming everyone with flamboyant pistols actually makes anyone safer. It's a hilarious, unfiltered take on the tiny absurdities

01:40:58

Censorship, Sex Toys, and Shots

Two Dicks in a Bar ·

2025/09/18

The conversation takes a sharp turn from sex toys to censorship when we react to the news of Jimmy Kimmel's show being "paused." We dive headfirst into a heated debate about free speech, corporate cowardice, the weaponization of the FCC, and the terrifying parallels to the Joe McCarthy era. It's a raw, unfiltered, and pissed-off look at the state of American media.

01:44:45

Government Secrets, Political Violence, and Ancient...

Two Dicks in a Bar ·

2025/09/12

On this episode of Two Dicks in a Bar, we're tackling the big questions. What are UAPs (UFOs) and why is the government really keeping them secret? We analyze the political landscape following a major news event and discuss the violent rhetoric plaguing the nation. Then, we shift gears to explore fascinating theories about advanced ancient civilizations that challenge everything we know about history. All this, plus tangents on disc golf failures, concert experiences, and the wild stories of Edgar

01:16:14

Chlorophyll, Coral Springs, and Catheter Bars

Two Dicks in a Bar ·

2025/09/04

No topics are off the table, hilarious, unscripted, and unhinged. The Dicks tackle the three essential male needs, the horrors of dating in your 50s, and the logistics of using the “lemonade pitcher” to avoid getting out of bed to pee. Grab a beer and belly up to the bar.

01:28:16

Comets, canals, and comic…timing?

Two Dicks in a Bar ·

2025/08/28

Join the Dicks, and their guest Angel, as the conversation spirals from the personal knowledge of a gruesome Florida man murderer to the torture of peeps in a microwave. Get ready to be schooled about country vs. the city living, the political correctness of the word “secretary”, and the superiority of Publix. Get ready for some hot chip horror stories, a flurry of dad jokes and heated debates Concerning UFOs vs UAPs… This episode has everything you’ve come to expect from Two Dicks in a Bar! Buckle

01:18:34

Porn, Politics, and Pig Farms: the Barroom Chronicles

Two Dicks in a Bar ·

2025/08/21

The Dick’s deliver another round of unhinged conversation featuring 80s porn stars, political redistricting, and ethical dog killing. Be ready for raunchy humor, crude humor, and tales of salsa – throwing road rage.

01:19:59

Butt chugging, Mike’s medical misadventures, and...

Two Dicks in a Bar ·

2025/08/14

The Dicks go full circle! Take a guess, does the circle concern; micro-perforations in Mike’s colon, butt chugging inebriates, or gluten free breadsticks? We"re happy to have Mike back, and have a weighty conversation on spicy chips. Welcome!

01:25:55

Two Dicks in a bar: Shower temperatures,...

Two Dicks in a Bar ·

2025/08/07

After giving a shout out to Mike from the casino, the Dick’s discuss rollerskating crushes, Dungeons and Dragons, and Trump‘s latest labor drama (they don’t even mention the Epstein files). Get ready to hear about rage rooms, superior vices, and whether dogs or cats would save babies from land mines.

01:23:48

Deodorant, D&D, and Dubious Debates. That’s a lot of...

Two Dicks in a Bar ·

2025/07/31

Join the Dicks as the careen from debunking the moon landing conspiracies to debating the merits of $80 laundry detergent. This episode features unfiltered takes on everything from Dungeons & Dragons to the fact that furries are just mascots with benefits.

01:49:50

From Dark Elves to Dark Theories: A Podcast of Many...

Two Dicks in a Bar ·

2025/07/24

A chaotic blend of D&D character creation, conspiracy deep dives, and bizarre hypotheticals-like what happens if you teabag a severed head in-game. The gang also tackles the ethics of team names, the mystery of Epstein's list, and why pickle vodka should be banned.

01:27:15

Two Dicks in a Bar: The Colombian Clusterf*ck Chronicles

Two Dicks in a Bar ·

2025/07/17

From motorcycle wipeouts off cliffs to costumes at a hippie hostel, this episode dives into the absurdity of a six-man Colombian escapade. Featuring: questionable meat, suspiciously bouncy horseback riders, and the eternal debate—Did that dog at customs even care?

01:35:02

Cops, Conspiracies, and College Dropouts - Two Dicks...

Two Dicks in a Bar ·

2025/07/10

Should all cops carry rubber bullets? Is the news irreparably biased? Did Nixon start it all? The Two Dicks tackle these questions (sort of) while reminiscing about failed careers, sugar mamas, and why Spider-Man should sound like a New Yorker. Spoiler: No conclusions are reached, but the salt content is high.

01:17:57

Politics, parking, and Plan B: the Dick’s tackle them...

Two Dicks in a Bar ·

2025/07/03

In this episode, the Dick’s dive into a heated political debate, covering everything from abortion rights to the national debt, before shifting gears to the chaos of downtown parking and the absurdities of social media. No topic is off-limits. Grab a drink and join the conversation! Spoiler: Do one agrees on anything.

01:05:55

News Deserts, Panther Bodies, and the Mystery of Slimy

Two Dicks in a Bar ·

2025/06/26

In this episode, the gang tackles everything from the absurdity of modern media (thanks, Fox News) to the ethics of billionaires renting out Venice for weddings. They also uncover the shocking truth about Oscar the Grouch’s pet worm (RIP Slimy), debate whether Solar Opposites is just Rick and Morty Lite, and question why disgraced politicians keep getting re-elected. Oh, and someone brings up Epstein. Because of course they do. Strap in for another wild, unfiltered bar talk.

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Two Dicks in a Bar

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