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PODCAST

The SelfWork Podcast

Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD

I'm Dr. Margaret, a psychologist for over 30 years, TEDx speaker, and the author of Perfectly Hidden Depression. I created The SelfWork Podcast in 2016 to explain mental health treatment and to give you the chance to consider therapy without thinking it's weird or that it somehow suggests you can't fix your own problems. My team is very honored that nine years later, SelfWork has earned nearly 5 million downloads! Each episode features the popular listener question as well as interviews

health & fitness mental health

All Episodes

40:58

491 SelfWork: Friendships: How To Create and Keep...

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2026/03/28

Friendships are vital for your sense of well-being.When you know that you have people that you can count on to be there for you when you need them, who you feel solidly connected to. that knowledge can offer a kind of grounding that's unshakeable.Dr. Margaret invites Marisa Franco to SelfWork to discuss how she discovered this for herself, how friendships have provided her with steady caring and acceptance, and how she uses the science of attachment to help you understand how to create and keep

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48:09

490 SelfWork: How To Choose A Great Career and When...

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2026/03/20

Choosing a career is one thing. However, knowing if it's the right choice for you or if you need to consider other alternatives? That can be more difficult.In this enlightening episode, Dr. Margaret speaks with Ashley Stahl, the author of the best-selling book, You Turn: Get Unstuck, Discover Your Direction, Design Your Dream Career . They delve deep into the complexities of career choices and the transformative journey of discovering your true calling - one that more exactly fits with your core

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43:59

488 SelfWork: Bipolar Disorder: Terri Cheney Tells...

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2026/03/06

Bipolar disorder can be very difficult to diagnose. But that pales in comparison to what it can be like to live with and manage.This week, Dr. Margaret Rutherford is republishing her interview with Terri Cheney who writes about her own battle with bipolar disorder. Sometimes she's won that battle. But not every time. And she talks about mixed episodes, which are harder to understand and certainly harder to live through. Pre-order The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook

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40:33

487 SelfWork: Hope For Autism: A Conversation with...

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2026/02/27

Autism is a diagnosis that's feared by parents whose beloved child's development seems off.Dr. Theresa Lyons, a scientist and autism parent and expert, has lived this life. She and Dr. Margaret discuss what it was like, how she coped, and the professional and personal advice she has to offer.Dr. Lyons own words on discovering the autism diagnosis..."I knew something was wrong with my daughter. I just had this intuition. This knowing. That things just weren’t going right. My daughter was

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34:41

485 SelfWork: How to Get Bad People Out of Your Life

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2026/02/13

The Bad People Bible is a definitive guide to removing toxic people from your life.Written by celebrity and renowned clinical and forensic psychologist Dr. Peter J. Favaro, “Bad People Bible” combines real-life stories, psychological insights, and actionable strategies to help people recognize toxic individuals and get out of relationships with narcissists and manipulators.Dr. Favaro explained in in this interviews how many narcissists employ incredibly debilitating and manipulative strategies to

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36:31

484 SelfWork: Psychedelic-Assisted Therapy: One Man's...

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2026/02/06

Psychedelic-assisted therapy is being actively researched by mental health researchers for its efficacy. And where it's legal, it's reported to be highly effective in treating depression and suicide prevention. Suicide rates within our veteran and first responder communities are incredibly high, and I’ve had conversations before with several guests on SelfWork about this very painful fact. Research shows that traditional therapies often fall short for these individuals, leading to a search

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23:43

483 SelfWork: Flashbacks and Nightmares: Healing Fear...

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2026/01/30

Flashbacks and nightmares are primary symptoms of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) as well as CPTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) – and they’re extremely frightening to have. Nightmares and flashbacks occur in different states of consciousness. Flashbacks happen when you’re awake and conscious; nightmares happen during sleep. Nightmares can involve a range of distressing themes, from feelings of helplessness to fears of abandonment. You don’t have to have experienced trauma to have a

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22:49

482 SelfWork: The Messiness of Marriage

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2026/01/23

Messy marriages are all over the place – and living through them and maybe grieving them can at times be extremely complicated. In today’s SelfWork episode, whether you’re grieving the death of someone with whom you had a complex and even hurtful relationship or whether that relationship still exists, you are often needing to grieve that person’s impact on you. With Valentines Day fast approaching, a date that people often have great fun with or hate living through, it’s important to realize that

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22:41

481 SelfWork: What's Anticipatory Grieving and How...

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2026/01/16

Today we're exploring what's termed "anticipatory grieving."When you know something is going to happen that will bring its own kind of grief… whether it’s a loved one being diagnosed with a terminal illness, an unwanted divorce being filed, learning that a child will struggle with a learning difference – it can bring a slew of emotions, many of them moving in and out of your awareness quickly. Anticipatory grieving is a way to imagine, visualize, and begin to emotionally prepare for

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22:21

478 SelfWork: The Mind Games of Sociopathy

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2025/12/26

How do you know if someone with sociopathic traits is playing with your mind? Today on SelfWork we’re going to talk about just that.The term cognitive dissonance has been around for quite a long time. What it’s describing is when you do something or say something that you believe to be wrong or unkind or unjust. But you do it or say it anyway. So, you’re not following or abiding by the values that you say you have.The gaslighting technique of those with sociopathy... But cognitive dissonance can

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21:02

477 SelfWork: Disappointments, Expectations, and...

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2025/12/19

Disappointment. It’s a feeling in between hurt and shock. Why? Because you expect one thing – and you receive another. It doesn’t quite shock you - maybe it wasn’t totally unexpected. And it doesn’t crush you – it’s not exactly traumatic.But expectation and disappointment are totally interrelated.Some disappointment is normal of course. You don’t always win the prize or get what you were striving for, whether that’s a job, or a grade, a promotion, or a relationship moving ahead. But how do you feel

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40:45

474 SelfWork: Healing Through Intuition: A...

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2025/11/28

Have you ever thought that intuition could be used for healing crisis?Laura Day, the New York Times bestselling author is back with a long-awaited, life-altering book to help you learn how to do just that. In her past breakthrough book Practical Intuition, she explained how anyone can train themselves to gain full access to the powers of the intuitive brain. However, only Laura’s closest friends knew that behind the book’s phenomenal success was a dark family history.In this, her first book in

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24:46

473 SelfWork: Blame, Perfectly Hidden Depression, and...

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2025/11/21

Today we have a grab bag of questions and comments, with the topics being blame, perfectly hidden depression, and bipolar disorder.The first is from a mom who lived through her daughter and yet also didn’t offer safety or a sense of security – even with the basic things. This listener is now sober for a year (much to her credit) and is asking about how to navigate her relationship with her mom – who's still chaotic. The second is from a therapist who attended one of my workshops on perfectly

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24:01

471 SelfWork: When Sexual Abuse Tears A Family Apart

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2025/11/07

We’re talking about sexual abuse on SelfWork today – so please, if you have sexual abuse in your history or have somehow been affected by it, listen carefully.Sometimes I receive a voicemail where I can hear the stark heartache that’s behind the message. And this week was no exception. The hurt expressed was so palpable for me. Not only hurt, but confusion and a huge sense of loss.Who was it from? She’s a therapist. A mom. A daughter, not in that order. Let’s call her Lisa.So, what had happened

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37:09

470 SelfWork: How to Find Meaning In The Moment with...

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2025/10/31

One of the most difficult things we all face is how to find meaning in the moments or experiences of our lives that are cruel or devastating, frightening or despairing. The very idea that that might be possible can seem to completely ignore the very real pain or injury of that moment.A book all about finding meaning... One of the most eye-opening books I ever read, I was introduced to in a freshman class I took in college. The course was geared toward the study of how different writers and

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23:06

469 SelfWork: Understanding the Fears and Faces of...

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2025/10/24

Today we’re focusing on what are termed borderline traits as well as different types of borderline personality disorder.There are many people, primarily women, who struggle with it, without knowing what to call it. In fact, it wasn’t a “diagnosis” until 1980. But that certainly doesn’t mean it wasn’t real before that date.Having any kind of personality disorder is tough. What do those words “personality disorder” mean? We’ll go over that (you may be wondering if you or someone you love may struggle

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49:10

468 SelfWork: Stop Going Down The High-Functioning...

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2025/10/17

Are you going down the high-functioning nervous breakdown rabbit hole?When I read these words, written by our guest on SelfWork today, I knew I wanted her on the show. She’s a pediatrician, a mom, an executive – and she gets it.Most women feel like failures—always feeling like they’re not doing enough, but so exhausted from their over-functioning that they have no more to give. Their go-to solution? To double down on doing more for everyone but themselves. The result? A vicious cycle of work harder,

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32:47

465 SelfWork: Families and Other Calamities: A...

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2025/09/26

My guest for this episode of SelfWork is Leslie Gray Streeter, a woman I’ve “known” (or as she explains to me is a parasocial friend of mine) – since 2019 or 2020. Leslie’s first book, Black Widow, was about the death of her husband, Scott – and was told with such biting truth and gritty humor that I knew I wanted to keep up with her.She's now written her second book, Families and Other Calamities. She weaves together her own life with her story line, and I once again found her writing - and the

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23:58

463 SelfWork (Second Time Around): The Quartet of...

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2025/09/12

Today on SelfWork, in this "second time around" episode, let's focus on a quartet of players in the self-sabotage realm: procrastination, perfectionism, a negative self-fulfilling prophecy, and of course, imposter syndrome. And as always, we'll talk about... what you can do about it. What's self-sabotage? When you're doing things or not doing things that seem to get in the way of achieving something or creating the life you say you want.I want to talk more about the fear

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22:29

462 SelfWork: So You Wanna Be Your Own Brand?

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2025/09/05

The goal of personal branding is being touted as the best way to ensure success in 2025. Here’s a statement put out by the Harvard Business Review in 2023.. “Much of professional and personal success depends on persuading others to recognize your value. You have to do this when you apply for jobs, ask for promotions, vie for leadership positions, or write your dating profile. For better or worse, in today’s world everyone is a brand, and you need to develop yours and get comfortable marketing

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