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PODCAST

The SelfWork Podcast

Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD

I'm Dr. Margaret, a psychologist for over 30 years, TEDx speaker, and the author of Perfectly Hidden Depression. I created The SelfWork Podcast in 2016 to explain mental health treatment and to give you the chance to consider therapy without thinking it's weird or that it somehow suggests you can't fix your own problems. My team is very honored that nine years later, SelfWork has earned nearly 5 million downloads! Each episode features the popular listener question as well as interviews

health & fitness mental health

All Episodes

24:46

473 SelfWork: Blame, Perfectly Hidden Depression, and...

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2025/11/21

Today we have a grab bag of questions and comments, with the topics being blame, perfectly hidden depression, and bipolar disorder.The first is from a mom who lived through her daughter and yet also didn’t offer safety or a sense of security – even with the basic things. This listener is now sober for a year (much to her credit) and is asking about how to navigate her relationship with her mom – who's still chaotic. The second is from a therapist who attended one of my workshops on perfectly

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24:01

471 SelfWork: When Sexual Abuse Tears A Family Apart

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2025/11/07

We’re talking about sexual abuse on SelfWork today – so please, if you have sexual abuse in your history or have somehow been affected by it, listen carefully.Sometimes I receive a voicemail where I can hear the stark heartache that’s behind the message. And this week was no exception. The hurt expressed was so palpable for me. Not only hurt, but confusion and a huge sense of loss.Who was it from? She’s a therapist. A mom. A daughter, not in that order. Let’s call her Lisa.So, what had happened

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37:09

470 SelfWork: How to Find Meaning In The Moment with...

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2025/10/31

One of the most difficult things we all face is how to find meaning in the moments or experiences of our lives that are cruel or devastating, frightening or despairing. The very idea that that might be possible can seem to completely ignore the very real pain or injury of that moment.A book all about finding meaning... One of the most eye-opening books I ever read, I was introduced to in a freshman class I took in college. The course was geared toward the study of how different writers and

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23:06

469 SelfWork: Understanding the Fears and Faces of...

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2025/10/24

Today we’re focusing on what are termed borderline traits as well as different types of borderline personality disorder.There are many people, primarily women, who struggle with it, without knowing what to call it. In fact, it wasn’t a “diagnosis” until 1980. But that certainly doesn’t mean it wasn’t real before that date.Having any kind of personality disorder is tough. What do those words “personality disorder” mean? We’ll go over that (you may be wondering if you or someone you love may struggle

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49:10

468 SelfWork: Stop Going Down The High-Functioning...

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2025/10/17

Are you going down the high-functioning nervous breakdown rabbit hole?When I read these words, written by our guest on SelfWork today, I knew I wanted her on the show. She’s a pediatrician, a mom, an executive – and she gets it.Most women feel like failures—always feeling like they’re not doing enough, but so exhausted from their over-functioning that they have no more to give. Their go-to solution? To double down on doing more for everyone but themselves. The result? A vicious cycle of work harder,

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32:47

465 SelfWork: Families and Other Calamities: A...

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2025/09/26

My guest for this episode of SelfWork is Leslie Gray Streeter, a woman I’ve “known” (or as she explains to me is a parasocial friend of mine) – since 2019 or 2020. Leslie’s first book, Black Widow, was about the death of her husband, Scott – and was told with such biting truth and gritty humor that I knew I wanted to keep up with her.She's now written her second book, Families and Other Calamities. She weaves together her own life with her story line, and I once again found her writing - and the

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23:58

463 SelfWork (Second Time Around): The Quartet of...

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2025/09/12

Today on SelfWork, in this "second time around" episode, let's focus on a quartet of players in the self-sabotage realm: procrastination, perfectionism, a negative self-fulfilling prophecy, and of course, imposter syndrome. And as always, we'll talk about... what you can do about it. What's self-sabotage? When you're doing things or not doing things that seem to get in the way of achieving something or creating the life you say you want.I want to talk more about the fear

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22:29

462 SelfWork: So You Wanna Be Your Own Brand?

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2025/09/05

The goal of personal branding is being touted as the best way to ensure success in 2025. Here’s a statement put out by the Harvard Business Review in 2023.. “Much of professional and personal success depends on persuading others to recognize your value. You have to do this when you apply for jobs, ask for promotions, vie for leadership positions, or write your dating profile. For better or worse, in today’s world everyone is a brand, and you need to develop yours and get comfortable marketing

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22:33

461 SelfWork: Should AI Be Used For Therapy?

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2025/08/29

Today we’re going to focus on AI (Artificial Intelligence) and how it might be used as in psychology and specifically in therapy. It’s interesting to see how people are responding; some states are banning its use, either to protect the jobs of people who’ve studied and received degrees (as is happening in many professions) or to warn of mistakes that AI can make or harm it can do.There was dramatic and heart-breaking example of this happening just this week. I'd already recorded this episode but

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34:20

457 SelfWork: How To Be Enough: A Conversation with...

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2025/08/01

How To Be Enough, a new book by Ellen Hendriksen is a must-read for anyone struggling with perfectionism and shame.She's a clinical psychologist at Boston University Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders, and the author of a new book, How to Be Enough: Self-Acceptance for Self-Critics and Perfectionists. She's already a very successful author having published the book How To Be Yourself in 2018 on conquering social anxiety. And I was incredibly interested in talking with her because we

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24:28

456 SelfWork: When You Hate Your Body... Body Dysmorphia

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2025/07/25

What is body dysmorphia? If you've irrationally felt, "I hate the way ....... looks or is," and you're talking about your own body, then you may be struggling with body dysmorphia.You can have a huge preoccupation with whatever defect your mind is telling you that you have – and can spend lots of time and money and energy to try and “fix” the problem. But tragically, the medicine or the surgery or the exercise doesn’t “fix” the irrationality – and so these kinds of problems can exist

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25:25

455 SelfWork: Is Depression Getting Easier to Talk About

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2025/07/18

Given the wave of mental health awareness that has occurred over the last decade or more, is depression getting easier to talk about?In some ways, yes. But in other important ways… it doesn’t seem to be. There are plenty of reasons that are the essentially the same as they've been for a while. But there’s one that’s emerged only recently… the idea that a mental illness diagnosis becomes an identity you have. “I’m bipolar, so this is really hard for me.” It can even become your identity or brand

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21:11

453 SelfWork: A Shrink Talks About Shrinking

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2025/07/04

I'm a shrink. And today, I want to talk about the hit show Shrinking.Most of the time, I hear the term "shrink" used in a funny, almost endearing way. It’s like when people call me “Doc” instead of my name. It’s a term that binds us but also keeps boundaries clear.I’d like to give you my thoughts on the Apple TV show Shrinking. And even more so, its message – that the people who are shrinks aren’t living lives that are somehow set apart from the rest of humanity. We’re dealing with our

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21:11

Parenting: Letting Go of Your Grown Kids

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2025/06/27

Parenting is hard. It may be the most ambiguous job you’ll ever have. Not only do you have to wait literally years to see what the “finished product” truly is – you have to get through adolescence and social media influence and screen time and drug use and hurt from relationships and broken bones and just basic screw-ups on your part – but there’s no guaranteed rule book.Parenting has stages...Today’s episode is on the stage of parenting, where you leave the “teaching” stage of parenting to the

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43:43

450 SelfWork: Climbing the Walls: Talking ADHD In...

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2025/06/13

ADHD in women is finally being diagnosed for what it is and has been!Understood.org, a leading resource for people with learning and thinking differences, has launched a new podcast series, Climbing the Walls, a new limited-series investigative podcast. Hosted by health and science journalist and documentarian Danielle Elliot, the podcast explores what led to new ADHD diagnoses among women ages 20–49, which nearly doubled between 2020 and 2022 (CDC).Across six episodes, Elliot weaves together

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23:57

449 SelfWork: How to Heal From An Affair

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2025/06/06

Do you know how to heal from an affair?This episode is once again motivated by a wonderful question from a listener. He’s a guy whose been in a relationship for many years – had an affair – or as he says “I cheated." But he now realizes that he still has deep feelings for his girlfriend. He wants to know how the two of them need to approach reconciliation together. I was struck by his sincerity and honesty, and decided to feature his comments and question.There are very specific things I’ve

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21:26

448 SelfWork: When You Love Someone With An Addiction

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2025/05/30

Today's episode is about watching my mother disappear.She wasn't a magician; she didn't physically leave all of us. She disappeared after she very bravely went into rehab and got off the massive amounts of prescription drugs she'd been taking for decades.My mother would've been 100 years of age this week, a feat she wouldn't have liked as she hated aging. I think of her a lot but decided that, in an episode that I hope honors her, I wanted to describe how addictions to

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43:47

445 SelfWork: Fighting for Ella: A Conversation About...

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2025/05/09

Today on SelfWork, we're talking with a mother and father whose beloved daughter Ella, at age 24, died by suicide. And how they've dedicated their lives to suicide prevention.I was introduced to Martha and Chris Thomas through a family member who told me about their daughter’s suicide. They’ve chosen a path, along with their son Solomon, an NFL football player, to try and keep any other family from living through the horrific pain they've experienced. And more importantly, to keep others

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25:13

441 SelfWork: How to Grow From Self-Doubt and Failure

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2025/04/11

Today on SelfWork, we’re focusing on self-doubt and how to grow from failure. Or what you’re calling failure.But labeling something as a failure can be used in several different ways , can’t it? It can be motivating, or it can stop you in your tracks. It can cause tremendous embarrassment, even shame, or you can use it to grow. What you tell yourself about failure has such a strong impact on whether it leads you into depression, even apathy, or whether you take that failure in stride and integrate

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39:39

440 SelfWork: Raising Good Humans: A Conversation...

The SelfWork Podcast ·

2025/04/04

One of the hardest tasks we take on as humans is raising children.Many of us do a pretty good job of raising children. But many of us don't. Sadly, our kids are often left to become adults themselves and bear the scars of our anger, our addictions, or our neglect. And if they don't do something differently than we did, they can perpetuate the problem.Raising children poorly can then be passed on. It's called transgenerational trauma. And it's very real.Hunter Clarke-Fields didn't

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44 results

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