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PODCAST

Advice Fight

The Grawlix (Adam Cayton-Holland, Ben Roy, Andrew Orvedahl)

The World"s Only Competitive Advice Podcast. We"re here to help, but mostly just fight. Get ad-free episodes and bonus content at patreon.com/grawlixsaves. Got a question? Email us: question@advicefight.com About Us: • The Grawlix: Adam, Ben and Andrew have been performing standup and sketch comedy as a trio for 20 years. Their self-titled monthly live standup comedy show, The Grawlix, is one of the longest running and most respected indie showcases in the United States. They created, wrote,

comedy comedy interviews

All Episodes

61:55

Mater Gator's Squirrel Invader

Advice Fight ·

2026/10/06

TODAY'S QUESTION:Dear Ben, Andrew, and Adam, Squirrels keep stealing tomatoes from my garden. I've tried nets, metal screens, chili powder. A motion-activated noise thingy. Nothing works.I need some fresh ideas. Please help! Hugs and kisses, Mater Gator LINKS ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠See the Grawlix live at the Bug Theatre on Saturday, November 29th with Troy Walker and Jordan Doll!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow us for show dates and more:

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72:15

Desperately Dinking Susan

Advice Fight ·

2026/09/29

TODAY'S QUESTIONLong time listener, first time writer. How can I pick up a guy at the pickleball courts? (Or anywhere out in the wild for that matter?) I grew up in the 80s/90s where no one was teaching us ladies how to pick up men... How do I tell who's single? Who's interested? How do I let it be known that I'm single? Do guys want to be hit on?... Is that a turn off? I would love to find someone to dink around the kitchen with, both on and off the courts.I recently joined a league so I can

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67:57

Family Lies: My Sister Moved To Town And Wants To...

Advice Fight ·

2026/09/22

TODAY'S QUESTION:Dearest GrawDogs, I moved to Denver in 2011 (it seems like Producer Ron™ loves your Denver-specific riffs, so I’ll just mention that my first apartment was at 13th & Grant, across from City O’ and the original Quiznos, that I believe is now a hair salon or something). Anyway, moving here was the first time I left home, and for the last 15 years I have enjoyed blissful, family-free autonomy. Recently however, my sister and her family moved from out of state to a house a few miles

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75:24

Ding-Dong Disaster

Advice Fight ·

2026/09/15

TODAY'S QUESTION:Gentlemen Fighters, My family and I are having a challenging time out here in the burbs of Denver. For the past 2 years we have had fairly consistent ding-dong ditches at our house between 8 and 10pm. It would only be a minor annoyance if not for the devastating effects on our household. Of note: 1- our neurotic shepherd dog. We had to put this dog on prozac earlier this year because of her anxiety, so these late-night intrusions derail this fragile dog. 2- if the doorbell

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66:15

Barbin' For Apples

Advice Fight ·

2026/09/08

TODAY'S QUESTION:Me and 4 of my great friends all have mothers or mothers-in-law named "Barb." Please let us know the best way to commemorate our friendship with your best Barb-forward idea. Thank you! --Kyle LINKS ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠See the Grawlix live at the Bug Theatre on Saturday, September 26th with Dave Ross and Chris Walsh!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow us for show dates and more: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Adam

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65:02

Leap of Reiki: Should I Bankroll My Wife's...

Advice Fight ·

2026/09/01

TODAY'S QUESTION:To my favorite trio of advice professionals, I have been with my wife for ten years and married for six years. I love her dearly and try to make sure I always have her back. She is smart, talented, and supportive. She also believes she was put on this planet to help and heal people. One of the many things I love that about her. The problem is, her version of healing relates less to medicine and science and more towards energy work and spirituality. She wants to start a business

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62:15

You Can Do It All — And That's The Problem

Advice Fight ·

2026/08/25

TODAY'S QUESTION:Dearest Ben and remaining two talentless dinks, I am seeking advice that is of the utmost importance. I am known about my city as a scorching hot standup comedian with accolades galore, as well as a gifted actor and scribe, worthy of all the awards that Hollywood can bestow, if the godless bastard gatekeepers would take the time to notice me. But, my career has been stunted by my love of music. My social media presence has struggled to gain the numbers I feel I deserve, because

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69:20

Lay Off My Polycule

Advice Fight ·

2026/08/18

TODAY'S QUESTION:Greetings esteemed fighters, I'm a 29 year old woman living in the big city for the first time. I've been so lucky to meet a lot of wonderful people, and in embracing the queer community here I've really had the chance to learn about myself.Me and my partner are polyamorous and have been since before we met each other. I have another friend who we will call C who is also a queer poly person. I love C, but everytime I bring a hot new person around, they immediately drop what

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69:32

You're Always Late. Here's How To Fix It.

Advice Fight ·

2026/08/14

TODAY'S QUESTION:Dear two stupid idiots, I am late for everything. It doesn't matter how much I prepare or how I schedule my day, I am just late for everything. It drives me crazy and it drives everyone else crazy also. How can I stop being late? Signed, The best person in this group, me LINKS ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠See the Grawlix live at the Bug Theatre on Saturday, September 26th with Dave Ross and Chris Walsh!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow us for show dates and more:

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64:42

The Repentant Heckler

Advice Fight ·

2026/08/04

TODAY'S QUESTION Dearest boys, I love you and appreciate you equally.I am seeking advice as how I might get Adam to forgive me.My mother and I were at Mississippi Studios in Portland to see Adam.She and I are having difficulties, both individually and congruently.We were talking and it was offensive.I am not arguing the facts.I am sorry and I will understand if this is the end for us, Adam.Loved seeing you, regardless.You are taller in person.Thanks for being you. All four of you.Best,Love. Hail

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66:58

Scrupulous Lothario: Advice For A Teenager's First...

Advice Fight ·

2026/07/28

TODAY'S QUESTION:Dear the grawlix my dad is a big fan I'm a freshman in high school and going on my first date I said I would cook dinner but don't actually know how to cook lol help please LINKS ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠See the Grawlix live at the Bug Theatre on Saturday, September 26th with Dave Ross and Chris Walsh!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow us for show dates and more: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Adam Cayton-Holland⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ •

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60:25

Friends or Future: Should I Ditch My Friends For A...

Advice Fight ·

2026/07/21

TODAY'S QUESTION:Hi Fellas, My group of friends from high school wanted to rent a house for a week by a lake and relive our glory days. I was the most enthusiastic when planning started and said I would be there the whole week. Now the house is rented and it’s a 2.5 hour drive. I have a job currently and already took the vacation block for the whole week.I have been applying for better jobs, but did not expect anything in today’s job market. I applied and interviewed to the perfect job

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67:14

Cheating Heart: His Secret Instagram Just Ruined...

Advice Fight ·

2026/07/07

What to do when you discover your partner’s secret Instagram account. TODAY'S QUESTION: Dear Ben, Andrew, and Adam, You know how Instagram recommends new people to follow? Well it just recommended my boyfriend's secret Insta account. That's how I found out he's been cheating on me. He told me he was working a part-time job at night. We're on a lease together. He doesn't know that I know and I can't afford to move out. And I really really can't move back in with my parents. Help me, Grawlix.

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66:30

Leftist Auntie vs. MAGA Grandpa

Advice Fight ·

2026/06/30

TODAY'S QUESTION: Dear esteemed Grawlix bois, My almost 2-year-old nephew is obsessed with his Fox-News-loving grandpa (my dad). As the radical leftist auntie, this really grinds my gears. I go to great lengths to win him over every time I see him, but no matter what I do, he constantly demands that I take him to "papa." What can I do to win over my nephew for good and prevent him from turning into a misogynistic MAGA douche? Sincerely, The Cool Auntie 😎 LINKS ⁠⁠See the Grawlix live

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65:10

Hey, How's Your Little Butt?

Advice Fight ·

2026/06/23

TODAY'S QUESTION Dear Grawlix,I'm hoping you can give me some advice. My wife and I are in our early to mid 40s, and over the last 1 to 2 years, my wife's libido has gone through the roof. Recently, she wants to get spanked, engage in dirty talk and wants me to objectify her. While it isn't really my thing, I am not opposed to trying these things for her. However, I am a bit out of my element when it comes to dirty talk and also find it hilarious. I have trouble thinking of things to say, and

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66:47

Divorcin' Cousins

Advice Fight ·

2026/06/16

TODAY'S QUESTIONHey guys, Big fan but never thought I'd need advice. I just found out that my cousin is divorcing her husband. He's my best friend. I introduced them. I was the best man at their wedding, we hang out all the time, his family and our family is tight, I love them both a bunch. Now they're splitting up and my cousin won't say why. What the hell do I do? Darius (no my real name, my cousin and best friend also listen to your podcast) LINKS See the Grawlix live at the Bug

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59:12

Ugly Fan

Advice Fight ·

2026/06/02

In honor of Adam's birthday, we're addressing this ridiculous question. TODAY'S QUESTION Dear Handsome Doctors: I listen to a podcast every week that I really love. It has 3 really funny and insightful people, but lately I seem to like one of them more. His level of strategic thinking and commitment to psychotic takes is making him dangerously close to becoming my favourite. I don't want to lose sight of the other two, who are both fine, because this third guy (lets just call him Adam), is

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61:05

Won’t You Stop Being My Neighbor

Advice Fight ·

2026/05/26

TODAY'S QUESTION: G-Men, After years of artful avoidance, I ran into my next-door neighbor in the alley, and he introduced himself. This neighbor — I’ll call him “Handyman Ron” here — now waves at me every single time I see him, and it’s become something of a daily obligation to wave back. What can I do to convince him that I am a sociopath so that he never waves - or makes eye contact with me - ever again?” John Moore LINKS ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠See the Grawlix

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68:42

I'm Never Gonna Dance Again

Advice Fight ·

2026/05/19

Who to choose when your friends get divorced. TODAY'S QUESTION: Dear Talktors, here is my dilemma. My wife and I are very close friends with a couple who just recently got divorced. We love both parties, but they do not care to be near one another. We love to go out dancing, and these two were always down to join us. However, since they are no longer together, neither of them want to go dancing, out of fear of running into the other at the club. Now we don’t get to go dancing with either of

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65:14

AITAH?

Advice Fight ·

2026/05/12

We slip and slide into the infamous subreddit "Am I The Asshole?" to issue some guerrilla advice. LINKS ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠See the Grawlix live at the Bug Theatre on Saturday, May 30th with Zach Peterson, Laura Peek, and Leah Althoff!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow us for show dates and more: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Adam Cayton-Holland⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ • ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Ben

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