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PODCAST

The Monet Noctaris Podcast

The Monet Noctaris Podcast is for those who can no longer pretend the old world makes sense. Through grounded spiritual insight, personal story, and cultural disentanglement, Monet explores what happens when the systems, identities, relationships, and beliefs that once held us begin to break apart. This is a podcast about disillusionment as initiation, sovereignty as embodiment, and the slow, often messy process of becoming coherent in a world built to keep us fragmented. For the ones

religion & spirituality spirituality

All Episodes

52:43

22. How to Stop Abandoning Yourself

The Monet Noctaris Podcast ·

2026/10/09

Who do you get to become when you no longer have to ask permission to be yourself?This episode takes the scenic route through Halloween nostalgia, Spice Girls, Sailor Moon, and a few personal ghost stories—including a chatty party guest named Edward and a resident “Grandpa” who apparently has opinions about my television choices. Somewhere between the ghosts and the costumes, we get into what it means to start enjoying life again after spending so long just trying to survive it. I share

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50:38

21. Erotic Sovereignty: From Being Chosen to Choosing

The Monet Noctaris Podcast ·

2026/10/02

Being desired can feel like validation. But when you’ve learned to organize your life around being chosen, it can also feel like an obligation. Where, in all of that, do you get to ask what you actually want?In this episode, I share my own messy, sometimes funny journey through sexual shame, religious control, dating after leaving my marriage, and the realization that having sexual knowledge and experience didn’t mean I knew how to stay loyal to myself. We explore erotic sovereignty, inner

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39:40

20. You Can Love Them and Still Leave

The Monet Noctaris Podcast ·

2026/09/25

What do you do when you love someone, but the relationship is hurting you?In this episode, I talk about one of the hardest parts of leaving: accepting that the loving version of someone you’ve seen may not be the version they can consistently be. I share how I spent years trying to explain my needs, teach my ex-husband how to treat me, and solve a relationship I couldn’t fix on my own. We’ll talk about the pull of someone’s potential, the grief that comes with accepting what they’ve shown

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53:24

19. When Dysregulation Is Telling You the Truth

The Monet Noctaris Podcast ·

2026/09/18

What if your nervous system isn’t malfunctioning? What if it’s responding appropriately to an environment that isn't safe?In this episode, I talk about what happened when nervous system regulation became one more way I was taught to blame myself for the effects of living in a psychologically abusive relationship. I was constantly walking on eggshells, anticipating anger, making myself smaller, and trying to regulate my way into tolerating an environment that was actively harming me. Then I

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40:28

18. You Evolved. Did Your Self-Concept?

The Monet Noctaris Podcast ·

2026/09/11

What happens when your life begins to change, but you’re still carrying beliefs built for an earlier version of you?In this episode, I’m reflecting on the anniversary of a painful ending, the radical acceptance that finally allowed me to seal that door, and the life that became possible once I stopped yearning for a ghost. I also share the self-concept work I’ve returned to as I approach a new professional threshold—and why entering a new relationship, opportunity, or chapter often

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44:15

17. Relational Sovereignty: I Am Me, You Are You, We...

The Monet Noctaris Podcast ·

2026/09/04

What would our relationships look like if they were built on choice rather than obligation?In this episode, I explore relational sovereignty: the practice of belonging to yourself while remaining deeply connected to the people you love. I talk about the invisible agreements that keep us sacrificing, rescuing, over-functioning, and abandoning ourselves—and how relationships become distorted when care is treated as a debt that must eventually be repaid. Drawing from my experiences with

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42:58

16. Who Decided This Was Normal?

The Monet Noctaris Podcast ·

2026/08/21

Who decided that a workweek should look the way it does? That productivity matters more than being alive? That employment should require access to nearly every hour of our lives—or that love, commitment, ceremony, and a legal contract must all mean the same thing?As I reenter the job market in pursuit of greater financial sovereignty, I’m becoming increasingly aware of how many of the rules governing modern life were inherited rather than consciously chosen. We treat them as fixed

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43:47

15. The Frequency of Sovereignty

The Monet Noctaris Podcast ·

2026/08/14

What does it mean to be sovereign when the circumstances of your life are not completely within your control? After returning from California with my children, I found myself facing a truth I hadn’t expected: the kind of sovereignty I need most in this season may be financial sovereignty. After ten years of working for myself—and after a deeply damaging experience with my last employer—considering traditional employment again has brought me face-to-face with everything I once believed a job

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38:57

14. Participation: Coming Down from the Tower

The Monet Noctaris Podcast ·

2026/08/07

At some point, healing has to become living.In this episode, I’m exploring the final stage of the Sovereign Human Pathway: participation. After years of learning how to survive alone, trust myself, and stop depending on anyone else to save me, I’ve found myself facing a different kind of challenge—allowing myself to come back down from the tower and participate in my own life again. With my birthday approaching, I’ve been reflecting on the last several years: leaving my marriage,

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53:20

13. Embodiment: The Point of No Return

The Monet Noctaris Podcast ·

2026/07/31

In the Sovereign Human Pathway, embodiment follows disillusionment, disentanglement, reconnection, and coherence. Coherence is the willingness to admit what is true; embodiment begins when we make choices that allow our lives to reflect it.In this episode, I share the story of the point of no return in my marriage: the years of confusion and self-abandonment that preceded it, the moment I finally admitted the truth aloud, and the conflict that made something inside me go completely still

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50:50

12. I Learned to Be Content Alone. Now What?

The Monet Noctaris Podcast ·

2026/07/24

After leaving antoxicmarriage, losing soul connection she loved deeply, and spending a year deliberately alone, Monet arrived somewhere she once thought impossible: contentment.She no longer needed a relationship to fill the silence. She had built a peaceful life—one without emotional volatility, self-betrayal, or a man at its center. But when love returned in a form that carried real potential, that peace began to reveal another possibility: had independence become

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49:59

11. The Dreams That Wait for Us

The Monet Noctaris Podcast ·

2026/07/17

For years, I barely sang—not on a stage, not professionally, and eventually, not even to myself. Music had once been at the center of my life. I began voice lessons as a child, earned a degree in vocal performance, and spent years singing professionally in San Diego. But as I built my life around marriage, motherhood, and survival, I slowly moved myself outside the center of my own dream. By the time I stopped singing completely, even trying to sing along with a Disney

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61:30

10. When “Everything Happens for a Reason” Stops...

The Monet Noctaris Podcast ·

2026/07/10

What happens when a spiritual belief that once helped you survive no longer feels true? In this episode, I trace my gradual disentanglement from the frameworks that shaped my spiritual life—from growing up in an unconventional spiritual place of worship, to immersing myself in past-life regression and New Age spirituality, to eventually questioning one of the beliefs I had clung to most tightly: that everything happens for a reason and is always for our highest good. For years, that belief

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59:36

9. When Six Figures Became Self-Abandonment

The Monet Noctaris Podcast ·

2026/07/03

What happens when you finally reach the milestone you were taught would make you feel safe, successful, and free — and instead, your whole body says no? In this episode, I’m talking about disillusionment with success: the kind that comes when the business works, the numbers grow, the goal is reached… but the life underneath it is no longer sustainable. I share the story of building a six-figure spiritual business while overriding my body, over-giving to clients, blurring the lines between

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58:45

8. When Polyamory Became Self-Betrayal

The Monet Noctaris Podcast ·

2026/06/26

In this episode, Monet Noctaris explores disillusionment through the lens of polyamory, ethical non-monogamy, bisexuality, coercion, and the quiet ways we can use “expanded” frameworks to betray our own knowing. This is not an episode about why polyamory is bad. It is an episode about what happens when a relationship structure becomes a place where boundaries are crossed, needs are distorted into demands, and self-abandonment gets spiritualized as growth. Monet shares the story of coming

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52:05

7. Disillusionment: When the Spell Finally Breaks

The Monet Noctaris Podcast ·

2026/06/19

In this episode, Monet begins breaking down the first stage of the Sovereign Human Pathway: disillusionment.Disillusionment is the moment when an old story, belief system, relationship pattern, or way of living stops making sense. It can feel like grief, anger, confusion, a dark night of the soul, or a quiet internal realization: I cannot keep doing this anymore. Through a deeply personal story, Monet shares how a framework that once helped her reclaim her worth eventually became something

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26:47

6. The Sovereign Human Pathway Is Here

The Monet Noctaris Podcast ·

2026/06/12

In this episode, Monet introduces the Sovereign Human Pathway: a free audio journey and workbook created as a map back to yourself in a time when so many people are feeling the old ways of living, relating, working, and surviving no longer fit.Building on the previous episode’s exploration of the collective return to coherence, Monet names what many are feeling internally: the inability to keep pretending, white-knuckling, compartmentalizing, or participating in lives and systems that feel

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35:49

5. You’re Not Broken — You’re Unhooking from the...

The Monet Noctaris Podcast ·

2026/06/05

In this episode, Monet bridges her personal story of leaving self-abandonment and coming home to sovereign coherence with the larger collective shift so many people are feeling right now.If life feels harder to tolerate, if the old coping mechanisms no longer work, if the systems and relationships you once accepted as “normal” now feel absurd, painful, or impossible to participate in, you are not alone. What looks like collapse is not the end of the world. It is the exposure and unraveling

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50:37

4. When Your Timeline Starts Crumbling

The Monet Noctaris Podcast ·

2026/05/29

Sometimes the life you built to survive becomes the life you’re invited to outgrow.In this episode, Monet shares the story of returning home to Encinitas for the first time in years — alone, unstructured, and open enough to feel the ocean call her back to herself. What began as a simple trip to sing at an old friend’s wedding became a profound moment of clarity around home, family, embodiment, motherhood, and the quiet ways life redirects us toward our highest good. Through the lens of

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44:44

3. Sacred Rage & the End of Being Easy to Love

The Monet Noctaris Podcast ·

2026/05/22

In this episode, Monet shares a personal reflection on dating again after a year of healing, and what it means to enter connection without abandoning yourself.From there, she opens a deeper conversation about sacred rage: the anger that rises when we have spent years overriding our own knowing, abandoning ourselves for love, and trying to be “easy” enough not to be left. This is an episode about resentment, self-betrayal, emotional survival, leaving what harms you, and learning how to let

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