If I Speak

59:27

130: The inconvenient truth about convenience culture

If I Speak ·

2026/09/29

Moya and Ash get their nerd on with a conversation about the rise of convenience and the loss of enchantment. How can we access feelings of wonder in a world of quick fixes? Is friction the spice of life? (With reference to LOTR, Jaws and Tony Stark.) Plus: when a so-called friend can’t do the bare minimum.The book Moya mentions is Gabe Bullard’s Against Convenience. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

en-GB

1:01:41

129: How did the pandemic change you?

If I Speak ·

2026/09/22

What if we still haven’t processed what the pandemic did to us? Was Covid a permanent turning point for our social lives and mental health? Ash and Moya identify an ongoing yearning for connection amid the scare stories and the manic bounceback. Plus: is it your fault you’re still single?Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

en-GB

1:00:31

128: Does a widening income gap spell trouble between...

If I Speak ·

2026/09/15

Moya and Ash think about how money changes our priorities. Should rich friends should pay for their poor friends? And how do income gaps affect our romantic relationships? Plus: what to do when your partner reveals an addiction.Get tickets for Ash at the Southbank Centre on 26 September: https://www.southbankcentre.co.uk/whats-on/ash-sarkar-the-future-of-relationships Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

en-GB

1:04:34

127: Help! I think my friend is in love with me?!

If I Speak ·

2026/09/08

Moya is worried about status – and so are increasing numbers of men in therapy, according to a recent report. So what does status look like in this economy? How are men adapting to not being guaranteed breadwinners? Can you be both downwardly mobile and satisfied with your life? Plus: what to do when you suspect your friend is in love with you. Read the article on men in therapy: https://www.theguardian.com/society/ng-interactive/2026/aug/19/men-therapy-achievement-grief Read John Burn-Murdoch on

en-GB

59:47

124: Are you afraid of being ordinary?

If I Speak ·

2026/08/04

Trapped in the attention economy, Moya wonders if our reading habits are affecting our sense of self, and Ash offers a feminist analysis of ‘main character’ versus ‘NPC’. Plus: what to do when your politics drift away from your friends’.Get tickets for Ash at the Southbank Centre on 26 September. Get tickets for Heated: Carnival Afters at Vespers on 30 August. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

en-GB

1:36:09

95: Does British culture need saving? w/ Lanre Bakare

If I Speak ·

2026/01/06

Culture writer Lanre Bakare joins Ash and Moya in Manchester to talk about the precarious state of arts and nightlife around the UK, Black cultural identity outside of London, and the rise of ‘cultural deserts’ – as well as the unofficial launch of the ‘BAMÉ Army’. Plus: a dilemma about a difficult houseshare. Lanre’s book, We […]

en-GB

1:06:53

88: What are the ethics of oversharing?

If I Speak ·

2025/11/11

Come and see us live! We’re in Manchester on 25 November with Lanre Bakare, author of We Were There – get tickets from Contact Theatre. Then we’ll be at EartH in East London on 16 December with Jordan Stephens – actor, author and one half of Rizzle Kicks! Tickets are available from Dice. This week, […]

en-GB

1:06

Live news! Come and see us at EartH in London on 16...

If I Speak ·

2025/11/06

A special announcement: Moya and Ash will host a festive edition of If I Speak on 16th December. Joining us at EartH in East London will be special guest Jordan Stephens – actor, writer, one half of Rizzle Kicks and the author of a bestselling memoir, Avoidance, Drugs, Heartbreak and Dogs! Tickets are available now […]

en-GB

1:10:19

87: I’m losing interest in my fiancée. Should she...

If I Speak ·

2025/11/04

Come and see us live on 25th November in Manchester with special guest Lanre Bakare, author of We Were There! Tickets are available now from Contact Theatre. Inspired by a famous pop psychology quiz, Moya and Ash tackle a quiz about the culture that shaped them, from celebrity crushes to memorable quotes. Plus: advice for […]

en-GB

57:58

84: How to ace a first date (by two very different...

If I Speak ·

2025/10/14

*Flag your Special One status with a massive foldable Baggu bag, available from shop.novaramedia.com* Are you a stranger dater or a fan of the ‘indeterminate hang’? Moya and Ash explain their very different approaches to a first date. Plus: advice for an unhappy house-sharer. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

en-GB

1:09:56

82: Help! I can’t stop hating men

If I Speak ·

2025/09/30

*Join the Baggu believers: it’s a huge foldable bag just for Special Ones, available from shop.novaramedia.com* Moya wants to stop hating men and start building trust, which means a dialogue about all the things that make that difficult: objectification, racist over-sexualisation, degrading comments, and rape (TW: 27m; 40m). Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt […]

en-GB

1:02:01

77: What’s the difference between a girl and a woman?

If I Speak ·

2025/08/26

*The If I Speak Baggu bag is ethically made, comes in two colours and is available from shop.novaramedia.com* What would it mean to be valued simply as a woman – not as a mother, wife, caregiver, girlypops or MILF? Ash and Moya talk about their animal natures and fear of motherhood in a chat spurred by […]

en-GB

1:07:20

72: Why does it always have to be me taking...

If I Speak ·

2025/07/22

*We’ve got merch! The If I Speak Baggu bag is ethically made, comes in two colours and is available now from shop.novaramedia.com* Ash and Moya descend into the guilt vortex for a conversation about family, responsibility, and parents who need to be parented. Plus: advice for a special one with a workplace crush. Send us […]

en-GB

57:29

64: What is the female gaze?

If I Speak ·

2025/05/13

What do straight women find attractive? Too many men think the answer is ‘big muscles’ says Ash, who has a big theory about sensuality. Plus: what to do when your boss is a bigot. Come and see If I Speak LIVE in London on 21st May! Join Ash, Moya and special guest Monica Heisey – […]

en-GB

56:02

61: Can friendships cross class lines? w/ Natasha Brown

If I Speak ·

2025/04/22

Ash speaks to author Natasha Brown about the big questions raised by her acclaimed second novel Universality, a ‘whydunnit’ mystery about identity, class and how we (re)invent ourselves. Plus: a dilemma about selling your soul. PSA: We’re going live at EartH in London on 21st May! Tickets are available from Dice. Send your dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com […]

en-GB

1:01:16

59: Does my ex owe me money for the house we renovated?

If I Speak ·

2025/04/08

Moya and Ash offer advice to a special one who’s lost everything after renovating a house with their ex. Plus: what if some of us are ‘relationship people’ while the rest are better off alone? We’re now yapping on TikTok! Follow us @ifispeakpod. Send your dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

en-GB

1:11:57

14. What does it mean to live authentically? w/ Oisín...

If I Speak ·

2024/05/21

Ash and Moya talk to Evenings And Weekends author Oisín McKenna about living authentically, intense female friendships, and how financial precarity limits our self-exploration. Plus: compulsory heterosexuality and suspicious new boyfriends. Got a problem? Tell us: ifispeak@novaramedia.com *Gossip, elevated.* Music by Matt Huxley

en-GB

53:09

13: I’m the problem, it’s me

If I Speak ·

2024/05/14

What’s the difference between tactics and standards? Ash explains with a Big Theory about how we behave in relationships. Moya brings a dilemma from an anxious people-pleaser. Plus, Myers-Briggs. Got a problem? Tell us: ifispeak@novaramedia.com *Gossip, elevated.* Music by Matt Huxley

en-GB

1:01:23

12. How to be a good friend

If I Speak ·

2024/05/07

Moya and Ash get deep and meaningful on the subject of true friendship, and help a listener who’s feeling weird about dating a “normie”. Plus: blame game pass-the-parcel. Got a problem? Tell us: ifispeak@novaramedia.com *Gossip, elevated.* Music by Matt Huxley.

en-GB

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