The Lost Cause Comedy Vault Vol. I

EXT. SKYLINE / ETHER - NIGHTA glimmer of light.Shimmering waves of silver and grey;Suddenly flushed with boredom,I mull over my own subconscious amoralHemisphere of hemoglobin—A Closer Look.WRITER 1 (O.S.)I TOLD YOU ITS PRONOUNCED TEEEEEMOOOOOO!!!OOPS, I DID IT AGAIN,JIMMY FALLONWell fuck you, I hate you.New Character: Stripper named Mahogany RayneMAHOGANY RAYNEIT'S BRITNEY, BITCH.WRITER 1 (O.S.)Oh shit, it really is.WRITER 2 (O.S.)I Kno.{enter the multiverse}COSMOOh no. This feels good.WANDAWhat’s

INT. SHADOWED CHAMBER - NIGHTTwo blue eyes peek out of the darkness into the pale flicker of candlelight.SETH MEYERSHey.FIGURE (O.S.)Don’t come any closer, Seth Meyers, I’ll shoot you.Suddenly, a silver pistol emerges from the shadows, pointed directly between those two same very blue eyes.SETH MEYERSI don’t doubt that.FIGUREYou shouldn’t.SETH MEYERSAll right, well...FIGUREWell...SETH MEYERSI—brought popped corn, er... all right, my—kernels, rather.FIGURE...For what purpose?SETH

EXT. PRIMEVAL FOREST - DAYSHIEKWhat has you up against a wall?FINIMy brother.SHIEKWhat’s wrong?FINIHe’s going to kill me; I can feel it.CHAOS and INFINITY are immortal souls of creation, trapped in a centuries-long game of seek-and-find—or, more accurately, seek-and-destroy, as the strategic and tactical INFINITY is usually bested by her younger brother CHAOS by his tactile use of brute force, weaponry, and merciless destruction.INFINITY, though equipped with an adapting presence, plays this game

{ENTER THE MULTIVERSE} | LEGENDSSPINOFF- [THE FESTIVAL PROJECT ™ }PRESENTS…The Chronicles of WTF(The Chronicles of Whatthefuck)**\ðə ˈkrɑː.nɪ.kəlz əv ˌwʌt.ðə.ˈfʌk**.[thuh KRAH-nih-kulz uhv wut-thuh-FUK.]EPISODE 001:PILOT‘My Name Is James ‘Chapter I:Lost BoyRED leans over the bed of the truck, leaning over the giant pine tree with the strap buckle gripped tight in his gloved dominant hand. He pulls as he leans over sliding back and down onto the ground, until his feet are firmly planted; his boots